Pho and I share a perfect ‘I-hate-you-like-I-love-you’ relationship. She has been with me for over 8 years now, one way or another. She is the last thing I see before I sleep and the first thing as soon as I wake up. Pho has this uncanny ability to pull my attention in whatever situation I am in; for someone who is usually unbothered, thats a lot to say.
Over the years, our dependence on each other has varied, and in the last 4-5 years the power struggle has been real. Pho needs to be fed on a daily basis, and if left unfed for hours, she starts throwing tantrums. But she has also comforted me during difficult moments, kept me connected to people, and rescued me from more awkward situations than I can count.
- So you see, I want Pho, but I also don’t want her.
- You guessed it, I’ve named my smartphone Pho! For something that I am so dependent on and appears to be my only steady relationship, it deserves to be named.
Well, for most of us, we share a very similar relationship with our smartphones. Over the years, and especially since the year 2020, it has become extremely important to address our relationship with our smartphones, since they have become a parallel to our human significant other.
There is definitely a ‘relationship’ that we share with our smartphones; whether it is healthy or unhealthy is for you to decide:
It is a constant companion
We have our phones with us almost all the time. We reach for them while eating, travelling, waiting, and sometimes even in the middle of conversations. Notice how often you check your phone without a specific reason.
They say that a bit of distance is actually good for any relationship; well, the same applies here.
Discomfort disguised as comfort
Our phones offer an easy escape. Scrolling can provide temporary relief, and there is nothing inherently wrong with that. However, if every moment of discomfort sends you to your phone… Think of how much it has messed with our brains, our thoughts, behaviors, and emotions in ways that we do not even realize.
- Indeed, a power struggle!
- The Scroll That Never Ends
- “One last reel and that's all” - how often have you said that and suddenly, an hour has passed?
The concern isn't simply how much time you spend online, but whether you can use your phone intentionally and stop when you choose to. Notice how often your screen time replaces something you had actually planned to do.
Aid, not a Replacement
The smartphone and the content on your phone are devised to ‘help’ you. But gradually it shifted to making you the product, and you ended up being the ‘help’. No matter what is marketed, real human interaction and relationships can never be replaced.
- Your smartphone is a tool
- A tool to make life simpler. But if it repeatedly interrupts your sleep, work, conversations, or peace of mind, it may be time to reconsider how you use it.
- Notice: Is your smartphone making your life simpler or more complex? And then if it is just a tool, can we put it on a pedestal of ‘relationship’?
The fact that you might be reading this over your smartphone is something that I have not missed. The goal isn't to hate your phone, abandon technology, or feel guilty every time you scroll. It is to recognise the difference between using your phone and feeling compelled to use it.
Pho is surely a wonderful companion, but she is still a phone! The world needs healthy humans.
Take a pause, and if needed, reflect and rework your relationship with your smartphone. And if you are struggling, you know you can always seek professional help.